“只是想聊聊天。”她颤抖着回答。
“你一直都很聪明。”汉尼拔说道。他再次灼烧着那灰黄色的组织,空气中弥漫着一股淡淡的烧焦味。“但聪明和智慧是不一样的。”他说,暂停了他的烧灼,用镊子伸进已经凝固的血液之中,捏住那暴露的神经。它像乌冬面一样厚而不透明,就它在镊子中的移动方式来看,还很坚韧。她短暂地闭上双眼,一阵眩晕袭来,她感到尖叫声正在喉咙深处蛰伏着。
我应该逃跑的,她想,我应该躲起来的。在汉尼拔讲述的童话故事中,怪物总是赢家。他们会把我生吞活剥。
“你真的应该接受我关于离开这座城市的建议。”威尔说,好像在读她的心思。她睁开眼睛,看到汉尼拔切断了他紧捏着的神经,然后转而结扎依然嵌在她大腿里的那一边,手指有些犹豫,但能清晰地看出他仍存有许多紧密而巧妙的打结方式的肌肉记忆。天哪。“我就接受了你的。”
“当你本能地想要帮忙的时候,是为了下次毁掉它吗?”她问道,声音低沉以防破音。一旦我开始尖叫,我将停不下来。我唯一的希望就是保持头脑清醒。但是……这能有什么用呢?还有什么可能逃脱呢?“目前为止感觉如何?”
“我感到极大的解脱。”他轻声笑着,说道。“你是一个优秀的心理医生。”
“我尽力了。”她低头一看,汉尼拔已经触及了骨头,有一瞬间她几乎忘记了如何呼吸。她希望他们中的一个能够在她腰部以上的什么位置打她、或是割她一下。看着她的肉体从骨架上剥落下来,但是却感觉不到,这令她感到恶心,头晕目眩。她把手腕紧紧地勒在绑带中,直到皮肤破损,睁开双眼看到汉尼拔正用一个扁平的金属器皿刮着骨头,把剩余的所有组织都推了开来。她可以感到震动沿着她的骨骼向上传递,传到她仍然可以感觉到的部分。
“差不多了。”汉尼拔低声说——对她,对威尔,还是对他自己,她不确定。他将镊子放在桌子上,用左前臂的后部擦拭着额头上的一滴汗珠。这些灯该死的亮。它们散发出的热量简直像是来自地狱,而突然之间,这就是贝德莉亚所能想到的一切。似乎在这炎热面前,一切都可以忍受了。“把毛巾递给我。”
她看着,她的脖子开始因汗水而闪闪发光,她的思绪感觉炎热而遥远。汉尼拔将毛巾从伤口中穿过,夹在她的骨头和撕裂的组织之间。她看着自己的骨架,想知道现在试着走路会是什么样子。这个想法让她几乎要呕吐了。她的身体徒劳地起伏着,横膈膜痉挛。
她面前的床单上满是撕裂的、破烂的血块,有些被电烙笔烧断的部位看起来像烧熟的肉。死定了(Dead meat),她想。
汉尼拔从桌上拿起了什么东西,用双手将其撑开,像是在盘绕纱线一般。它在他手指间闪闪发光,像是一截明亮而致命的钢琴丝。贝德莉亚感觉自己的心率加快了,狂奔着,感觉自己失去了对情绪反应的控制,失去了对面部表情的控制。他将那根线缠在她的骨头下,然后抓住这绞带两端的把手。她看见随着他开始慢慢地向上锯着骨头,他前臂和肩膀的肌肉微微地绷紧了。
她能听到骨头和线锯摩擦的声音。穿透了她鼓膜中血液的流动声,这声音惊人的响。威尔和汉尼拔的声音听起来像是从另一个房间传来的,低沉而模糊,但他们偶尔的对话片段却能够透过她恐惧的迷雾。
“……以迷迭香和大蒜烤骨髓,铺在酥脆的传统法式长棍面包(baguette de tradition fran?aise)上……”
“你这么喜欢烧烤?”
“你有什么想要表达的偏好吗?”
“我不知道。我一向偏爱烧烤。”
当汉尼拔的线锯接触到她的骨髓,并伴随着他施力而快速切割骨头时,她的身体微微颤动着。她感到眼角一阵刺痛,随着金属丝的刺耳声音的继续而叹了口气。
那天晚上我在家里发现他的时候,我就应该扣动扳机的,她想。我就不该请求他讲述一个偏离真相的关于尼尔的故事;他以蛰伏暗处和半真半假的陈述为乐。我就应该在仍有机会的时候逃跑,但现在再跑已经太晚了。他们已经抓住了她,现在,她的思想已经非常接近于客观地理解和认知她已经知道的事情:他正在给予她她的结局。
她的身体在床垫上又一次抽搐着,她睁开眼睛,突然意识到眼泪覆盖了她的脸颊和下巴,流进她的头发,在耳廓中发痒。汉尼拔蜷伏在她上方,单膝跪在床上。在他手中握着的是她的腿。它通过一片血红的皮肤、脂肪和肌肉,依然与身体的其他部分相连。然而他握着的角度完全不对,骨头不在一条直线上。当他拧动的时候,她能看到自己被切开的地方,而当他开始从她的大腿上撕扯她的腿时,贝德莉亚尖叫了起来。
******
她独自一人在餐桌前醒来。这张餐桌上摆放了三人份的餐具,上面已经放满了精心制作的香喷喷的烤肉,菜肴的香味在她面前蒸腾,这让她充满了想要呕吐、或是再次尖叫的强烈冲动。她屏住呼吸,迅速移动,将她的蜗牛叉藏在了残缺大腿上的餐巾下面。
[1] 标题注,即雅典卫城, “西哥罗佩(Cecropia)”此名以纪念常被描绘为半人半蛇的怪物的雅典首任国王凯克洛普斯(Kekrops)。
[2] 犹大环,即朱迪卡,引自但丁《神曲》。犹大环处于第九层地狱(背叛者之寒冰地狱)的第四环,即整个地狱的最深处,惩戒叛卖恩人者。
[3] 原文拉丁语“Vexilla Regis prodeunt inferni”, 同样出自《神曲》。下句为英文原文。
[4] 底比斯圣军,由底比斯将领高吉达斯于公元前378年创建,是古希腊城邦底比斯的一支精锐部队,共300人,由150对同性恋伴侣组成。所以下文原作写到这是一支4世纪军队,应为公元前4世纪。
[5] 公元前338年,腓力二世的骑兵将圣军全部歼灭,自此圣军不复存在。希腊历史学家普鲁塔克曾描述道:“胜利后的腓力二世视察战场,他停在300位勇士的尸体前,看到每个战士的胸前都有致命的伤口,每两具尸体紧紧挨在一起,于是知道这就是著名的全部由相爱的勇士组成的“圣军”,他抑制不住眼泪,说道:‘无论是谁,只要怀疑这些人的行为或者经历是卑劣的,都应该被毁灭。’”
[6] 引自柏拉图,“Every heart sings a song, incomplete, until another heart whispers back. Those who wish to sing always find a song.(每颗心都在唱着一首不完整的歌,直至另一颗心轻声和应。而那些愿意唱的人,总会找到一首歌。)”
[7]这段原文来自《沉默的羔羊》,是汉尼拔对史达琳说的。参孙谜语的典故来源于圣经《士师记》14:1-20。注:参孙是古代以色列的一位士师,力大无比。他娶了一位非利士女子为妻。在婚宴上,他与30个非利士人打赌,并相约,如果7日筵宴之内他们猜不出谜底,他们就送给参孙30套衣服,如猜得出来,参孙就送给他们30套衣服。参孙的谜面是:“吃的从吃者出来,甜的从强者出来。”原来,参孙曾赤手空拳撕裂一只狮子,两天后,他发现死狮子体内有一群蜜蜂和蜜,就将蜜掏出来,在回家的路上边走边吃,到家后还分给父母吃。非利士人当然不知此事的缘由,就诱迫参孙新婚的妻子,使她问出了谜底。第二天,非利士人见到参孙时得意洋洋地回答:“还有什么比蜂蜜更甜?还有什么比狮子更强?”参孙知道自己的妻子泄露了秘密,非常不高兴,但他口头上仍故作平静,说:“如果你们不用我的母牛犁地,你们绝对猜不出谜底!”结果参孙只好认输,出去杀了30个非利士人,夺来30套衣服给人。非利士人还有庸人的意思。这里一语双关。
第五章 厄倪俄
她一只手紧紧抓住藏在腿上的双齿蜗牛叉,另一只手放在残存的腿上。她迫使自己估量形势,分析周围的环境。房间昏暗,只有壁龛中的几根白色细长蜡烛将房间点亮。厚重的柞蚕丝窗帘将一对窗户遮挡住了,但贝德莉亚怀疑那之外的天空和房间一样黑。所以,她一定是昏迷了一整天,或是差不多那么久。她感到皮肤上蕾丝的刺痒,第一次注意到自己穿的是一件华丽的钴蓝色礼服,她可以完美地想象出汉尼拔为她挑选衣服的样子。她想象着他的手是如何的放在她的身上,温柔而迅速地,将她的衣服脱下而又换上。他是多么喜欢打扮他的玩具们啊。这件礼服很是清凉,领口被剪裁得很低,几乎到了她的肚脐,但她裸露的皮肤所接触到的芳香的空气却是温热的。事实上,那股热量来源于餐桌中央那块冒着热气的烤肉——这肉太长了,不像是牛肉、猪肉或是羊肉。玫瑰和熏肉的香味在空中飘荡,既令人食欲满满又同时令人作呕。
餐桌上准备了三个人的餐具,除了被成排的叶子包裹着的烤肉之外,还堆满了水果和鲜花。在她的座位旁边放着一盘大蒜烤蜗牛,蜗牛肉还在壳里。她认为这大概就是汉尼拔最仁慈的举动了,允许她拥有除了吃自己的肢体外的其他选择。她可以边看着他们吃她,同时吃点别的什么。
思考,当她发觉恐慌重新开始在她体内翻腾时,她这样命令自己。他们或多或少算是使她动弹不得了。她将无法从房间——从这张桌子——更别说从房子,或是公寓,或者任何他们将她囚禁的地方逃出。靠她自己逃跑是不可能的了,电话求救是唯一的出路。不过,这个计划也不太可能实现。即使她能成功的接触到电话,但汉尼拔几乎不可能拥有像固定电话这样方便的东西。她也许可以试着去偷他们的手机——如果他们有手机可以偷的话。
如果她不能逃跑,也不能呼救,那么唯一的选择就是战斗。她永远不会在一场公平的打斗中获胜,而他们也不会给她这样的机会。目前情况对他们十分有利,这时候尝试战斗似乎只像是自杀。寻求一死也许比等着看他们下一步会做什么更好,她想。他们要花多久才能把我吃完?他们会让我每次都保持清醒吗,让我看着他们把我切成两半吗?她宁愿搏一搏也不愿在缓慢的死亡中苟且。她至少可以拖着他们中的一个和她一起死去。这并不理想,但就复仇而言,这是个好主意,既然他们终于实现了统一,那就永远的分开他们。一想到那个幸存下来的将会感到多么痛苦,她的嘴唇不禁微微上扬。
不过,他们也有可能已经从她身上拿走了所有想要的了。他们也许打算吃完饭、打扫干净盘子之后,将她放走。如果这时她发动攻击,她将冒着生命危险。但如果她不这样做,她又将面临着被肢解和生吞活剥的风险。这并不是一组很好的选项。她听到他的声音在她脑内的黑暗空间中回荡:你将自己陷入了一个怎样的境地,贝德莉亚?
正当她权衡着自己的生存几率时,餐厅的门打开了,威尔走了进来,汉尼拔紧随其后。汉尼拔的穿着一如既往地无可挑剔。身着的蓝色西装,与她的礼服相得益彰,而他折叠着的口袋方巾则不出所料地色彩出挑。她记起他们在佛罗伦萨的时候,她曾看着他纤长的双手灵巧地折叠着布料,动作快得眼睛都无法跟上。威尔穿着黑色的西服,简直该死地像死神一样。他的表情看上去像是在同时微笑和皱眉。贝德莉亚深深呼出一口气,感觉自己的心跳开始加速。
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