汉尼拔为他倒了一杯白葡萄酒,表情冷淡,却明显地被赞美所鼓舞。当然,他一定在监狱里十分想念那些惊艳人们的时刻。威尔敢肯定汉尼拔有很多粉丝来信,但他认为,在汉尼拔曾经过着的那些充满了不断的赞美和钦佩的生活之后,这种安慰远远不够。现在他所拥有的只有威尔,其余的世界已经陷入了对他的恐惧和厌恶——尽管,威尔认为,人们的恐惧是其独特的一种崇拜。“你也许会注意到一丝刺柏的味道,”他告诉威尔,“如果你的味蕾开发到了一定程度的话。”
威尔闭眼,想象着烟雾从细小的刺柏枝上升起,芳香且浓厚。这种双壳类动物是在刺柏枝束上以小火熬成的,如果他想象得足够努力,威尔几乎可以尝到它的味道。
“你更加意识到你的身体了,意识到你身体的知觉。”汉尼拔观察着。“告诉我,你能感受到在你皮肤上的空气的压力吗?”
威尔皱眉。“你打算给我们来一节有关躯体感知系统的讲座吗,莱克特医生?”
“当然不是。”汉尼拔回道,眼睛闪烁着红色的光。“这听起来像是一种绝佳的方式来破坏一顿原本令人愉悦的菜肴。”
“就这一次,”威尔微微一笑,“我们达成了完全的共识。”
“我发现我们近期越来越多地能够达成共识。”汉尼拔说道。威尔又吃了一口他的食物,默默惊叹着舌头上的味道和质地。“你难道没发觉吗?”
他舔了舔嘴唇,思索着这个问题。他之前从没考虑过,但这应当十分明显了;什么时候汉尼拔曾如此完全地交出过对情况的掌控过?威尔听见贝德莉亚的声音,阿拉娜的声音,警告着他,不要愚蠢地让自己相信汉尼拔没有完全掌控形势。“你一直非常迅速地接受了所有提议。”威尔小心翼翼地回答道。
“既然你想到了这点,你就不需要过多担忧这一定意味着什么。”汉尼拔对着他的餐盘微笑——为他那该死的聪明才智。他抬头,紧盯着威尔的眼睛,俯身越过这张窄桌,意味深长的笑着。“不要怕,”他低语道,声音讽刺却愉悦,“大部分只是因为我觉得你的提议非常迷人。”
“大部分。”威尔强调,汉尼拔的笑容更大了。
“不完全是。”
“不完全是。”
“我对此必须坦白,”汉尼拔用威尔所能想象到的最不懊悔的声音说道,“我对看到你将要做的事情很着迷。”
“这可算不上是一项新进展。”威尔指出。“又或者这更像是一种职业好奇心呢,医生?”
“我总是好奇你会如何对那些为你设置好的刺激做出怎样的反应。”汉尼拔说道,以一种愉悦的分析口吻,好像他正解释着蚜虫的生活习性,而不是漫不经心地讨论着他从剖析威尔的思想和反应中获得的快乐。“然而,你现在在做的事情完全不同。在过去,你基于刺激作出反应,而现在,威尔,你坐上了导演的位置。你在布置你自己的场景,为自己计划这一切是如何发生的。我感觉到你身体里的标志性改变——自从你站在我面前,请求我和你一起演完这场荒唐的戏码以引诱红龙的那刻就感觉到了。哦是的,”汉尼拔对着威尔此刻的表情呼出一声轻笑,“我料想到了你有一些自己的计划,区别于我们亲爱的杰克和阿拉娜的。我可以从你身上闻到。”
“有什么关于气味的占卜方式吗?”威尔讽刺地问道。
“气味占卜。[2]”汉尼拔答道,令人恼火地自鸣得意着。
“当然会有一个词形容它,而你当然知道。”
“没错,”汉尼拔叹道,“但这不是我想表达的。我只是想说有一些很明显的事物在你体内发生了改变,使你突然决心与理智相冲突。”汉尼拔凝视着他,石榴色的眼睛闪着光。“什么改变了你,威尔?”
他该如何回答呢?汉尼拔已经知道威尔无法再次回到他的那个小小的现成的家庭中去了——他在将威尔的住址给到多拉海德的时候就已经知道这将会是最可能的结果了。威尔该如何解释他以为是最后一次离开汉尼拔时的感受呢?解释他是如何在走出医院大门时看向他的肩膀以确定他是孤身一人,随后为那个他本可以保证有人站在那里的空地而感到后悔?他不能回家,他不能留下,无处可去,无事可做。解释他是如何站在走廊上打算说话,却突然无法完成一个足够深的呼吸,并后悔几年前自己有机会的时候没能和汉尼拔一起离开,尽管他知道如今已经太迟了,他的机会在很早之前就用光了?如何描述他的心是怎样无规律的跳动着,他如何清楚他无法活过又一次的别离?他将汉尼拔推开了那么多次,每一次都要比上一次更狠。他怎么能说出他几乎不允许自己感受的东西呢?
随后红龙死而复生,一个机会出现了。
他不能将那些全部说出。所以他只是说,“这机会很好,不能错过,”飞速的瞥了一眼汉尼拔然后重新看着他的餐盘。汉尼拔沉思了不止一会儿,然后威尔用余光看到他笑了。他们在友善的沉默中吃完了剩下的菜肴。
******
他们等了五天。这感觉几乎糟糕透顶,但威尔认为五天实在算不上一个很长的恢复期,考虑到他们所经历的。他的身体感觉正以飞快的速度愈合着,而在第五天的清晨他就准备好了。他醒来,清楚这终于是时候了,然后睁开眼看着汉尼拔躺在对面的铺位上,以一种威尔知道肯定和自己一样的表情回看着他。他短暂地怀疑了一下他醒来所感受到的决心是否甚至是他自己的,随后决定这并不重要,因为即使它不源于它自身,现在也是他的了。
他们像笼中的狮子一样度过了一天,充满期待却又感到沉郁。在太阳落山的时候,威尔感觉快要喘不过气来了。天一黑他们就离开了码头,并叫了一辆出租。现在是星期五,街上开始变得拥挤了。威尔给司机背了一遍地址,然后他们便快速地穿过了这座城市。
正如他所预想的那样,在他们到达的时候英格拉姆的公寓空无一人。现在是周五晚上十点;他大概是在外面谋杀某个女孩吧。并且要更好地掩盖他的痕迹,威尔愤愤地想着,不能让任何人像他们上次那样接近。进去很容易——汉尼拔在几秒内就取下了锁——而威尔很乐意等的时间稍微长一些。
克拉克·英格拉姆绝对不像是能感觉到有什么东西消失的人,当他穿过前门,路过客厅和向厨房走去时,将他的外套扔在一把扶椅之上。他比威尔预想的回来的晚;现在已经快要到凌晨两点了。
当他打开灯的时候,威尔靠着厨房中间的工作台,直直地看着他。当他认出威尔的时候,英格拉姆的眼睛睁大了,威尔控制不住地微笑着。
“你好,英格拉姆先生。”威尔致意道,让他自己完全站直,然后朝这位惊恐的社工走了一步。“我读了你的无罪判决。这该是多么的解脱啊。”
英格拉姆突然移动了,向右侧飞奔,而那是前门的大致方向,却正好与汉尼拔相撞,他的右臂快速伸出,将他手中的刀猛扎进英格拉姆右胳膊下方的柔软位置。英格拉姆在疼痛中深吸了一口气想要喊叫,但在他能发出声音之前,汉尼拔用一只手死死地捂住了他的嘴,然后将他的身子猛地拧过去以再次面对威尔。
威尔的心脏有力地跳动着,沉稳但却格外地响。英格拉姆的眼神慌乱,他知道发生了什么,威尔感觉他又一次跌下了悬崖,当他踏进必然的时候,所有空气都冲出他的身体。他的四肢里充满了一股颤动的能量,但当他举起它,并将那把从柜台上取得的刀坚定地插入了英格拉姆的喉咙时,他的手却依然平稳。他从下巴的一角到另一角画了一条暗色的线,听见肉体撕裂像是潮湿的织物被撕裂一样,伤口像咧嘴一笑似的向后张望。英格拉姆的喉咙里传出一阵咕噜声。汉尼拔的手向后拉着他的嘴,使英格拉姆的头更加、更加向后。英格拉姆的身体颤抖着,在汉尼拔无情的臂弯里疯狂抽搐着,使威尔沐浴在炽热的血泉之中。
知识一滴一滴地,倾注在威尔心中,以上帝可怕的恩典,倾注并淹没了他的大脑。我用心地去感知智慧[3],他想着,大脑飞转,眼睛睁大。威尔举起手,俯身抓住英格拉姆的衣领。喷泉开始变小,尽管一次意想不到的强有力的心跳将最后一股血喷到了他的脸上。他无法思考,感觉如洪水般涌来。当战栗开始穿过他的身体时,他紧紧盯着汉尼拔,他的呼吸开始变得急促,这个将死之人在他们之间被紧握着,随着他的生命在燃烧的爆发中流尽,而汉尼拔的手抓住了他最后的恳求。威尔能够感觉到尸体在他身上松弛,只被他们紧紧抓住的手支撑着。他感觉那一刻从他身上穿过并掠过,像是水从水箱中溢出一样,他迷失在了兴奋之中,迷失在了汉尼拔饥渴的通红的凝视中。威尔紧紧地抓住他制造的尸体,呼吸如此艰难,以至于他感觉到自己开始换气过度。他强迫自己闭上眼睛,除了用一声呻吟表达他的痛苦外什么也说不出来。
“保持清醒,威尔。”汉尼拔的声音回荡在他的脑海里,而在他们之间,随着汉尼拔的放手,英格拉姆的尸体倒在了地上。威尔过于沉浸在这令人震惊的感觉之中,没有注意到这点。当汉尼拔的手指触摸到他下巴时,他睁开了眼睛。“保持住,在他的时刻,不要逃避你现在的感受。不要深入进去。”
威尔试图完全敞开心扉面对这一时刻,但他的呼吸如此艰难,以至于他认为自己可能会晕厥。这太多了,它的强度令人恐惧,也许是因为它在多拉海德之后来的太快,杀戮一个接着一个,或许又是因为这使他这是他经常想象却从来没有承认的事情,一件未完成的事情,笼罩着所有那些和莫莉一起的无辜的时刻。威尔把一只手放在汉尼拔的前臂上,紧紧抓住以保持直立。房间倾斜着,威尔咬着舌头,不让自己因恐惧和狂喜而尖叫。
随后,汉尼拔的左手滑进了他的脖子后面的头发之中然后猛地一拽,足以将威尔稳定在痛苦和压力之中,而这仅仅只是勉强能够承受。他嘶着气,将注意力转移到疼痛上,感觉脚下的房间又稳定下来了。威尔屏住呼吸,头被头发中的那只手向后拉着,使那股缠绕着他身体的战栗离开。他能感觉到有什么东西在身体中展开,这种感觉穿过他,扩散到他的神经、血液和骨头。当他能够再次睁开眼睛的时候,在眼中含着的泪光所形成的一片模糊之中,他看到的只有汉尼拔。
[1] 以防有谁像我一样记不住这位龙套是谁……提示一下是那个马肚社工。
[2] Clairalience, 占卜学名词,表示一些嗅觉敏感的人能够通过闻到一些别人无法闻到的气味而进行占卜。
[3] 作者前面注明过了但我还是补充一下…我采用的是《红龙》的译文,而在《传道书》通行版译文则是:“我又专心察明智慧,狂妄,和愚昧。乃知道也是捕风。(And I gave my heart to know wisdom, and to know madness and folly: I perceived that this also is vexation of spirit.)
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